Love is Kind

By: Ivonne J. Hernandez

"To be open to a genuine encounter with others, “a kind look” is essential. This is incompatible with a negative attitude that readily points out other people’s shortcomings while overlooking one’s own. A kind look helps us to see be yond our own limitations, to be patient and to cooperate with others, despite our differences." (Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia)

I was watching a special about the life of Fred Rogers, the beloved Mr. Rogers of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, and I was deeply moved by the life of this man. He was deep, caring, compassionate, intentional, and above all, he was kind.

Fred was bullied as a child for being shy and overweight and was told by the grownups in his life to act like it didn’t bother him. Even as an eight-year-old, he knew that this was wrong. He was angry and sad that the bullies couldn’t see past his shortcomings to see him, and he was sad that his parents didn’t acknowledge his experience. After many years of sadness over this, his faith brought him to a decision. He decided he would always look for the essential in each person.

Two of his most famous quotes, “I like you just the way you are” and “The greatest gift you ever give is your honest self,” describe how he loved his neighbor as himself. Fred Rogers cared, he listened, he connected. He brought Jesus Christ to the world, not by talking about Him necessarily, but by the way he lived, by the way he loved.

“Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.” (Ephesians 4:32)
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I think we can easily forget the importance and the power of kindness. It is very difficult to be kind to someone who has hurt us or those we love. It is difficult to be compassionate to someone who just rubs us the wrong way. It is much easier to be kind, compassionate and forgiving towards someone we like.  And, although it is true that there are people whose nature attracts us less than others, it does not mean that the act of liking someone is outside of our control. When we experience feelings of antipathy or even disgust towards a person, we still get to choose how we respond.

“Look for the essential in each person”.

What a simple yet profound idea. How do we find the “essential” in the other? By entering into a relationship with them -- by being present to them and listening to their story.

If a friend is rude to us, but we know they just lost a loved one, we are more inclined to give them a pass. When we understand the “why” behind the actions, when we see the pain motivating the undesired behavior, we do not take things personally and can see the situation as it really is. We can refrain from putting up our own walls and instead reach out to the other in front of us.

"Love is patient, love is kind. ...Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4,8)

When we look out and truly see, we won’t see a monster threatening our very existence, but our crucified Lord calling out for us. We will see Jesus thirsty, naked, imprisoned, lonely, mourning, or hungry. When we meet the human needs of others with kindness and compassion, we will find that the essential in them will shine more brightly. 

​When we find that reflection of God in the other, we can then join Mr. Rogers in saying:

​“I like you just the way you are. Won’t you be my neighbor?”

Ivonne J. Hernandez

Ivonne is a Catholic wife, mother, Lay Associate of the Blessed Sacrament, and President of Elisheba House. Speaker and writer, author of The Rosary: Eucharistic Meditations. Alongside her husband, Rick Hernandez, she coordinates the RCIA program at their home parish. A lover of choral music, Ivonne is a member of the Master Chorale of Tampa Bay. She and her husband live in Trinity, FL, with two of their young adult sons.